


When the Dust Settles

by luckypenguinbuddy



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 21:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16026764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckypenguinbuddy/pseuds/luckypenguinbuddy
Summary: Summary: I started this story after the season three finale and I felt I needed to get this out before the season four premiere…major spoiler alerts from the season three finale.  My thoughts to the days end for S3E15.





	When the Dust Settles

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I own nothing Rizzoli & Isles. That is the privilege of Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, and TNT. I love the show so much that I use Rizzoli & Isles as a muse. No infringement intended.
> 
> A/N: I did a little reworking and re-editing to the version I originally posted to ff.net back (6/15/2013). I still have no Beta so all mistakes are still mine.

Jane's standing in the doorway hugging Casey, "I guess I should go?" Reluctantly pulling away from him sniffling.

 

Buzz...Buzz...

 

Jane left out a frustrated sigh.  Pulling her phone from her belt clip lifting it to look at the screen while apologizing to him, "Oh, its Fra…I'm so sorry…Frankie, AGAIN!"

 

"Answer it." Casey says in a whisper.

 

"Oh, yuh.  It could be an emergency." Jane rolls her eyes and answers "YES, WHAT!"

 

"Jane! Jane!  There's been a huge collapse at the Storrow Center!  You got to get down here!"

 

"Calm down Fra…What?"

 

"It's real!  Listen to me!  That's where Tommy and Frost were at!

 

"Okay! Okay!"

 

"Just get down here, Jane!"

 

"I'll be right there!"

 

"Jane, get down here!"

 

"I'll be right there!"

 

Frankie talking became more frantic and his phone starts cutting out, "We can't find um, we need you down here NOW!"

 

Jane hangs up looking shocked.  Casey asks, "What is it?"

 

"Uh, my brother an…and my baby nephew…and my partner…there…there's been a building collapse in the Back Bay and they think they're trapped inside!" Jane heads for the door.

 

"Let me come with you."

 

She stops and turns, "No. No, I can't wait for you!" She starts walking again realizing what she's said to Casey, she turns back to him with a torn look on her face and an apology in her eyes, "ah" she turns and leaves.

 

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

Maura stands at a distance watching Jane.  She is with Angela caring for TJ.  They are standing by Tommy's gurney, waiting for the paramedics to load him into the Ambulance.  Maura wants to be with Jane.  She's just unsure of what to do.  Before she can decide, Hope walks up next to her.  Turning her head to look at Hope she says matter-of-factly, "I want to help Cailyn."

 

Hope looks at Maura for a second surprise clearly showing on her face.  It fades quickly as she turns back forward, her focus is on nothing in particular, "She told me what she said to you." Hope just shakes her head she doesn't have the words to continue.

 

Maura speaks while she continues looking straight ahead.  Her focus clearly on Jane. "She said I don't…want any part of you living…in me."

 

"I'm so sorry."

 

Maura pauses for a moment, "We all say and do stupid things.  I'll have Boston General's transplant unit arrange everything.  I…I don't want Cailyn to ever know."

 

"Maura!"

 

Turning fully to her birth mother for the first time, "NO, promise me!"

 

Swallowing hard Hope gives her best assurance, "I promise."

 

Maura nods her acknowledgment.

 

"Can I…would it be all right with you if?" Hope asks fidgeting and fighting off tears her voice cracking.

 

Again Maura nods her acknowledgment fighting to maintain her composure and unable to process her words.

 

Hope steps in and pulls Maura into a hug.  Looking resigned Maura returns the hug, "I will never be able to thank you." Hope continues the embrace and Maura smiles, but it is clearly one showing she is uncomfortable with this form of affection though she continues the embrace as well.

 

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

Once Tommy was loaded into the ambulance and the paramedics were preparing to pull away Jane gives her mother a reassuring smile as she rubs her back.  She glances over to see where Maura standing, talking with Hope.  Jane knows want they're talking about just by the look on Maura's face not needing to hear a word of the conversation.

 

Feeling a presence behind her she turns to see Casey standing there.  With confusion and surprise on her face, she walks over to him, "How long you been here?"

 

"I didn't want to leave until I knew they were safe." He is clearly in pain straining to stand there.

 

"Thank you." Releasing a huge sigh full of regret, Jane continues, "I'm sorry for what I said about…" she sighs again, "For not being able to wait for you…it just slipped out."

 

"It’s okay" nodding his reassurance to Jane, "Go be with your family." He's struggling and she knows it.

 

"Well, what about you?"

 

"I'll be okay….or I won't." He tries to give her a smile, "It's my choice." He looks into her eyes one last time before he turns struggling to walk away.

 

Jane is clearly torn.  She knows it's Casey's choice, but she also knows the seriousness of this procedure and just how risky it is thanks to Maura.  She feels like she should stop him, but she can't bring herself to do it.

 

Jane's so focused on her thoughts that the hand reaching out and touching her shoulder startles her, causing her to jump.  Immediately after the tall brunette knows that hand, it is Maura offering warmth and caring.  She turns to her best friend.  Maura asks with a sorrowful smile, "Are you okay?"

 

Jane smiles, but her eyes tell a different story.  They show conflict and sadness, "Yeah." She responds with a few sniffles then releasing a sigh trying and lighten the mood, "Just another day at the office?" They both let out a small laugh.

 

Jane moves her right hand to the small of Maura's back rubbing small circles with her thumb.  A look of caring lighting her face, "You okay?"

 

"Yeah." Maura says, though her eyes tell Jane, ‘I will be in time'.  Maura reaches down taking Jane's hand in hers and lacing their fingers. She waits for Casey to no longer be in sight, "The last of the patients are being transported to the hospital now.  I told your mother that we should take TJ with us to the hospital.  Just like Tommy, he should be checked out too.  We don't know what that was in the building or what TJ may have breathed in during the collapse."  She bumps Jane's shoulder, "Angela is waiting at my car for us.  She said she was going to call Lydia."

 

"Okay." Jane pulls Maura in for a quick hug, one which Maura quickly reciprocates, "Thank you for going into that building with me…I…"

 

"Anytime Jane, I‘ve got your back."

 

Jane pulls back, brown eyes looking directly into hazel ones, "I know" She gives her a small smile.

 

They turn and head over to get Angela and TJ to the hospital.

 

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

Jane and Maura were sitting in the ER waiting room at Boston General.  Waiting for word on Tommy and TJ.  They were supposed to be watching for Lydia to arrive.

 

They had already been back in the exam room with Tommy until he was taken down for x-rays and then the CT-scan that the doctor had ordered.  On their way out they had stopped to check on Angela and TJ, who was in another exam room being examined.

 

Maura was sitting quietly next to her best friend who was lost in her own thoughts…the honey blonde knew Jane would talk when she was ready.  She was patient and willing to wait.

 

Jane was lost in thought, her mind kept going over the day's events.

 

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

Flashback…

_Frankie strolled into the bullpen quickly walking up to Korsak, Frost, and his sister, "Jane can you give Tommy and the baby a ride home?"_

_"Why can't you?"_

_"Filling out paperwork"_

_"Phft" Waving her hands looking frustratingly down at her desk, "And I don't have anything to do." She states sarcastically._

_Frost chimes in, "I can drop 'em off after I take the photos."_

_"Really, you sure?" Jane looks at him making sure it's really all right._

_Frost gets up and starts to walk away, "Yeah, no problem."_

_"Thanks." Jane calls after him._

_Buzz...Buzz..._

_Jane pulls out her cell phone looking at her screen, "Good, cuz Maura needs a shoulder to cry on."_

_Korsak asks, "Why?  What happen?"_

_Letting out a breath and tipping her head starting to move, "Girl stuff." She says walking out of the bullpen heading to the Morgue_

_Korsak chuckles and says, "Oh."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_As Jane enters the Morgue she sees Maura lying on the first Autopsy table with a pillow covering her face.  She stops and hesitates a moment before walking up to her best friend, "Maura what are you doing?"_

_"Looking for the oblivion of sleep."_

_Jane gestures to the dead body on the next table over, "What about him?"_

_"He doesn't mind." Her voice is dejected and flat._

_"Okay." The lanky brunette says to the honey blonde as she reaches for the pillow removing it from her friend's face, "You're going to get lip gloss on your nice pillow." Tapping her friend's shoulder "Come on." Maura leans up for Jane to place the pillow down for her to lay back on._

_"I don't care." She whines. With that comment, Jane knows that her best friend is really out of sorts._

_"I thought you told her to make an appointment?"_

_"She just showed up." Maura says while she sits up stretching her legs out on the table._

_With a smirk on her face, Jane says, "Well, at least you got to keep your kidney."_

_"No, no, it wasn't even about that.  I wasn't even holding my kidney hostage."_

_Jane stares off across the Morgue looking somewhat confused arching her one eyebrow, "Okay this conversation took a weird turn."_

_"I can't believe I did that."_

_"What…did what?" Jane asks still confused._

_"I stopped being nice…..I said what I thought…I was really mad and I was hurt and I just…said it."_

_"Maura, that's good.  That's okay, all right…I'm proud of you." putting a reassuring hand on Maura's shoulder._

_Looking up at Jane while breathing deeply, "I feel nauseous." Shaking her head in disbelief, "Why did I say…why did I say it?  I don't even know what I said." Maura was clearly frustrated with herself._

_"Okay, okay let's talk about something else!  Ooh!"  Jane says enthusiastically clapping her hands, "Ball bearings…you like to talk about ball bearings."_

_Maura sighs in resignation, "Well I'm almost certain they came from a computer hard drive and right now the lab is trying to track down the manufacturer." Shaking her head and gesturing toward the lab._

_Jane nodding her head, "Okay, good!"  After a pause she continues, "Speaking of balls…I strapped mine on and called Casey's office."_

_"You did?"_

_With sadness in her eyes and rubbing her scars she said, "Umm hmm, he took a leave of absence yesterday."_

_"Well go talk to him. Now! Like…right now!" Maura points toward the door._

_It's my lunch hour...and uh" Looking down at her watch, "I only have forty-three minutes left."_

_"Well, that's enough time to say what needs to be said."_

_Laughing sarcastically Jane answers truthfully, "I don't know what needs to be said!"_

_"Say…enough with the magical thinking that could kill you or leave you a quadriplegic."_

_"Ah, I doon't knooww why I'm doooing thissss." Jane whines as she turns, leaving the Morgue. Heading to see Casey._

_"Cuz, you love him." Maura says in a sing-song voice while laying back down covering her face back up with the pillow again._

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

"Maur, can I ask you something?"

 

"Sure, Jane."

 

"Actually I have a few questions so, let's start with the problem I have with you laying on the dead people table okay?"

 

"Jane, those tables are kept so clean you could eat off of them."

 

Jane leans over, taking one of Maura's hands between both of hers looking right into hazel eyes, "I know you say that, but that's not what I mean.  What I'm saying is…that was not my best friend in there today.  What exactly happened to make you do that…something so, so not you?"

 

Maura thought a moment…then began to tell Jane what happened exactly.

 

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

Flashback…

_Exiting the lab doors while reviewing the current case file Maura steps out and notices Hope sitting and waiting for her.  "Dr. Martin" Fidgeting with the file in her hands.  Looking away briefly off to the left she says. "Didn't you get my message…I'm very busy today."_

_"Yes, I did, but I'd really like to talk to you."_

_In resignation, Maura nods her head agreeing to speak with her.  She turns and walks into her office not wait for Hope to follow._

_Once in there she stands behind her desk as a protective buffer.  In a very cool tone, Maura asks, "What do you want to talk about?"_

_"When we met…I said I felt a strange kinship with you."_

_"You also said that conceiving me was the biggest mistake of your life."_

_"I'm sorry that I said that……Maura, I had no idea….Patty told me that our baby died and for years I visited my baby’s grave."_

_"Oh, really" Maura taps out a few strokes on her keyboard then flips the laptop around for Hope to see what she has on the screen. "You're trying to tell me you've never seen any of this?  Patty Doyle's capture was international news."_

_Shaking her head and looking to the floor Hope says, "I closed the door on that part of my life."_

_"At least your eighteen-year-old daughter had the guts to confront me.  You just denied your life." Anger building in Maura's tone, "The Harvard girl that got seduced by the evil thug and then you ran." She releases a stressed laugh almost in tears._

_"I…I'm very sorry"_

_Maura continues her voice shaky, "I…..I had this stupid little girl fantasy."  Shaking her head, "That you'd be everything you are…but you'd want me…you'd be very happy to know that I was alive." Her voice beginning to break._

_After a hard swallow, Hope said, "I reacted badly."_

_"Badly?  You accused me of lying…….you told me I wasn't your daughter….…I actually think you asked me what I wanted from you."_

_"Yes, I did."_

_Gesturing her arms wide.  "And now you're back………Do you see Patty Doyle when you look at me?  Do you see evil?"_

_"No…and I saw so much good in your father."_

_Patty Doyle's not my father!" Maura standing with her left hand on her hip and a very stiff confronting posture._

_Hope nodded her head in surrender, "I loved him…he was a…still is the most complicated…intelligent…damaged human being that I've ever met."_

_"Why are you here?" Again stating her question very matter-of-factually._

_"Cailyn."_

_"Well……I know what I should do……give you my kidney…to save your daughter………but, I'm your daughter too!" Again she says fighting back her tears._

_"I know I have no right to ask..."_

_Maura cutting her off "You don't!" With all the reserve Maura has left she says, "I think you should go."_

 

**R &I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I R&I**

 

"So Jane, as you can see I clearly was not myself.  My mother would be ashamed of my behavior…I am ashamed of my behavior this morning.  I was raised better than that.  As I told you, Jane.  I stopped being nice……I said what I thought…I don't do that, Jane……I was really mad and I was hurt and I just…I just said it right to her face." Maura pulled her hand away from Jane, "What is wrong with me, Jane?"

 

Jane didn't mean to do it, especially because she could see how distraught her friend was, but it just got out.  She let out a big belly laugh.  Seeing the hurt look on Maura's face she knew she needed to respond and respond quickly. "Oh Maura, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh.  I know how you pride yourself in maintaining you're composure at all times and nothing is wrong with you sweetie…nothing at all.  And if you ask me…I'd honestly say you're perfect.  I just have to say…welcome to the human race with the rest of us mere mortals.  And as I told you before, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.  It's okay to be mad.  It's okay to express your feelings and I'm guessing that you still did it in a ladylike fashion."  Jane smiled and took Maura's hand again, "I bet your voice never even got close to the volume it reached during our ‘cat fight' as everyone is now calling it."

 

Maura looked away from Jane with embarrassment clearly written on her face, "No, no it didn't" Maura looked down to the floor.

 

Jane reached over lifting her chin to look at her, "Then don't be ashamed of yourself.  Be proud of yourself because you were frank with her and spoke your mind."  And with a mischievous smirk on her face, she continued, "And please understand that being on the receiving end, I know it may have stung a little to hear it, but you can't lie Maura.  So I know everything you said to her was true."

 

Maura gave Jane a half smile, "Okay, I'll try not to be."

 

"Thank you" Jane patted the hand she was holding.

 

Both Jane and Maura sat quietly for a few moments longer.  Maura was the one to break the silence.  "What other questions did you have, Jane?"

 

After a minute Jane bumped Maura's shoulder with hers.  "So, you're really giving Cailyn one of your kidneys?"

 

"Yes, wait!  How did you know?"

 

"I saw you talking to Hope at the site earlier.  I just wanted to know for sure."

 

"I feel like it is the right thing to do…she's only eighteen…….she has her whole life ahead of her."

 

"I know, I just worry about you that's all."

 

"People donate kidneys every day."

 

"You're not just people to me, Maura.  It still is major surgery and there are still risks.  I don't want to lose you.  I don't know what I'd do if I lost you, Maura!"  After squeezing Maura's hand Jane wiped away the single tear that rolled down her cheek.  "And if you are doing this…even though I'm worried about it and not exactly happy about you doing it……I'll do everything I can to support you…I'll be there to take care of you after until you get better.  Especially so, Ma doesn't smother you so much."

 

Maura had her own tears rolling down her cheeks now.  She made no attempt to wipe them away, "Thank you Jane, that really means a lot to me in many, many ways." Maura takes her free hand and rubs Jane's arm, "If that's how you told Casey you felt and he still chooses to go through with the surgery then he's a fool…I know this is mean to say Jane, but that surgery is extremely risky on a good candidate.  And the reality is he is not a very good candidate otherwise there would have been more improvement or he would have already had surgery."

 

Jane got extremely quiet.  She got up and started pacing the ER waiting room.  Maura was afraid that she pushed her best friend too far.  She just sat there with Jane while she continued to pace.

 

Jane was glad for the distraction when Lydia arrived.  She walked her back to the room where Angela and TJ were waiting.  While she was back there she checked on Tommy.  He was back in the room waiting to see the doctor again.

 

On her way back out to the waiting room, she found Frost who had just finished up getting his left arm cast and his broken ribs taped.  Jane waited a couple of minutes and walked out into the waiting room with him.

 

When the two partners got back into the waiting room they found Korsak sitting and talking to Maura.  Korsak got up for Jane to sit back down, "Jane sit, how's TJ doing?  Maura says Tommy's leg is pretty messed up."

 

"Yeah, Ma's going to be a while.  They're doing some kind of breathing treatment on TJ before they decide if he goes home tonight and Tommy is definitely staying tonight cuz of the concussion. I guess he got sick when he was getting the CT scan done.  He is still waiting to see the doctor again for his test results and his leg."

 

The four of them talked about the day and how lucky they all were considering.  After a little while, Korsak left to take Frost home, leaving Jane and Maura sitting in silence once again.

 

"Maur, if you want to go home it'd be okay…..you've had a really long day and I feel really bad having you sitting here with me when I know you've got to be exhausted."

 

"I would like to stay if you don't mind."  She bites her bottom lip a moment before continuing, "I really don't want to be alone after everything."

 

Jane pulled Maura into a one arm hug pulling her in close, "Maur, I never mind being with you.  You're family.  Just know, if you get too much Rizzoli time I'd understand if you wanted a break or wanted to go home."

 

"I'm good right here with you Jane." Maura snuggled into Jane's embrace and they sat quietly waiting.

 

And that's just where Frankie found the two of them when he arrived.  Both sleeping.  Maura snuggled in Jane's side with her head on her shoulder.  Jane had her arm around Maura with her cheek resting on Maura's head.  He just sat down in the seat next to them and waited.

 

After about an hour later Angela came out into the waiting room.  The Rizzoli matriarch started talking a mile a minute as she walked up to her children startling both women awake.  "Tommy has to stay the night.  Too much swelling to cast his leg plus the concussion and TJ is staying too…just to be safe.  The doctor says he's a little raspy sounding.  Oh, hi Frankie I didn't know you were here."

 

Jane looks around seeing Frankie, "When did you get here, little brother?"

 

"Hello Frankie." Maura said yawning and sitting up straight in her chair.

 

Frankie just smiled at them, "I’ve been here about an hour or so…didn't want to wake ya."

 

Frankie stood up giving Angela a hug.  Angela continued talking, "I told Lydia I'd stay with her and the baby tonight.  I'll sit with her since Tommy can't.  You girls should go home…you too Frankie."

 

Jane looked at her watch, "You sure Ma?  Do you need anything?"

 

"No.  Not tonight.  I'll be fine.  You kids just go get some rest."

 

"If you're sure Ma, then we'll go." Jane said hesitantly, "I just want to go back and see them both before I go, if that’s okay."

 

"Me too" Frankie jumps in to say.

 

Jane reaches for Maura's hand bringing her along.  Jane, Maura, and Frankie walked back with Angela to see Tommy, stopping in to see TJ and Lydia first.  They visited with Tommy for a brief time then Jane and Maura excused themselves to leaving Frankie to visit with Tommy alone.

 

Maura decided to leave Angela the Prius just in case she wanted to go home.  She knew Jane would take her home without question. 

 

Jane opened the passenger door for Maura to get into the Crown Vic, "You hungry?"

 

"Not really….you?"

 

"No.  Not really…just tired.  You gonna be okay at home tonight or you wanna stay with me?"

 

"Would you mind?"

 

"Of course not!  Do we need to stop at the house for clothes?"

 

"I have a bag in the car."

 

Jane got Maura's overnight bag out of her car and they headed to Jane's apartment.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

The car ride to Jane's apartment was a quiet one.  Jane took Maura's overnight bag from the back seat carrying it up to her apartment.  The brunette unlocked the door holding it open letting Maura enter first.  She set the bag down and picked up Jo Friday, "Maur, you can have the shower first.  I'm gonna take Jo for a walk."

 

"Okay, see you in a few." Maura said picking up her bag and heading down the hallway.

 

Jane took Jo out for a good walk since she felt bad for leaving the little dog for so long.  When she arrived back at the apartment Maura was still in the shower.  Jane unclipped her gun and badge setting them on her nightstand.  Shrugged off her blazer tossing it on the chair in the corner.

 

She was sitting on her bed taking her boots off when Maura walked into the bedroom towel drying her hair,  "Did you get Jo settled?"

 

"Yeah.  Every tree around the block was successfully inspected."

 

"Sorry I took so long in the shower.  I didn't realize how much debris build-up was caked on me."

 

"It's okay, we just got back, actually.  I stopped a few minutes at the park for Jo to run, otherwise, she's walk gonna want to play and I'm tired for that." Jane got up, "I'm gonna go shower.  If you're hungry…there's some leftover take-out in the fridge."

 

"I'm good, Jane.  Go shower.  I can warm you some if you're hungry?"

 

"No, but thanks for the offer." The brunette said as she headed for the bathroom.  When she came out Maura was already in bed.  Jane tiptoed into her bedroom in her tank top and boy shorts.  She carefully slid into bed not wanting to disturb her friend.

 

Maura spoke startling Jane, "Do you feel better?"

 

"Jesus Maur, I thought you were asleep.  You scared the crap out of me."

 

"Sorry."

 

"It's okay, but yes…I feel so much better.  God, I was filthy.  I'm still not sure I got everything out of my hair." Jane rolled to face Maura, "Hey Maur, thanks for everything today."

 

"No thanks necessary Jane, you were there for me as much as I was for you today."

 

"Can I finish asking my questions or are you too tired?"

 

Maura rolled to face Jane giving her full attention, "No, go ahead."

 

Jane has been worrying her bottom lip waiting for Maura to answer, "Why do you keep pushing me back to Casey when he doesn't want me in his life?"

 

"I…I…thought if he saw how much you love him and care for him…..how much you were hurting that maybe he would open up to you….he would…I don't know….I just want to see you happy Jane."

 

"You think I'm not happy, Maur?"

 

"I see how hurt you get, every time he rejects you…I just want him to see how special you are….love you the way you love him."

 

"Maur, listen to me when I say this.  I care for him a lot.  I wish he would let me help him.  I do…I really do.  You know I'd do whatever I could for him.  But the truth is he won't let me….he never has, really.  I don't know if what I feel for him is love…I do care for him, but we haven't spent enough time together to know for sure.  I wanted it to be with Casey…he's a good guy…I think I felt like I owed it to him."

 

Jane sat up pulling her knees to her chest, hugging them as she dropped her forehead to her knees.  Maura waited, but soon she thought Jane was shutting down so she reached over putting her hand on Jane's arm to reassure her.  It didn't take long before the brunette started to speak again, "When Frankie called I was just getting ready to leave….I mean I was saying my goodbye to him and when I found out what had happened at the building he wanted to come along and I had already started out the door saying I can't wait……I told him I can't wait for him………I turned and looked him in the eyes when I realized what I had said.  The hurt was already there.  Maur, I screwed up big time, if I was in love with him I think I'd have given him the few minutes he needed to come with me." Jane lifted her head and turned it to look at Maura, "I wasn't even torn about the choice…I was going to help find Tommy, TJ and, Frost……it was only when I looked back at him and the pain I caused that I was torn up about it but I still just left."

 

"Jane there was an emergency.  No one is prepared for something like that.  No one knows what their reaction would be or how they might respond."

 

The thing is Maur, I do know what I'd do or who I'd choose……I realized that today.  I had what Oprah calls an ‘Ah ha' moment."

 

Jane knew she had just confused the genius by the look on the honey blonde's face. "An ‘Ah ha' moment is when the light goes in your mind and everything becomes clear.  Does that make sense?"

 

"Yes"

 

"So, let me ask you this Maur…when I was going into that building today and you told me you were going along and I said no…..you pushed me and said you were going anyway…..is there anything I could have done to stop you?"

 

"No!"  She thought for a moment, "Well if you restrained me physically then I would have had no choice in the matter.  And you can be sure I wouldn't have talked to you for quite a while.  I didn't want you risking your life alone."

 

"That's my point Maura…..if something would have happened to you in that building I'd have unearthed the whole damn thing to get to you and if you needed five minutes to come with me I'd have waited…..hell, I did wait for you because you had to finish up with that rescued patient first……the point is, I waited even though I didn't want you in that building.  I didn't want you to get hurt….but I waited because I knew you'd follow me anyway.  I didn't give Casey a chance to come to support me just like he didn't give me a chance to support him."

 

Maura sat up in bed mimicking Jane's position, "What are you saying, Jane?"

 

Jane sighed and ran her fingers through her unruly damp locks, "I know I'm kinda the bull in the china shop when I do things and you're the take time to calculate and re-calculate to fully process things so I'm either doing the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life or ruining the best thing that I've ever had." Jane was trying to get the words out, but her mouth went dry and was fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.  In the semi-darkness of the room, Jane turned to Maura with nothing more than a whisper she continued, "I know I'm not in love with Casey because I'm in love with you, Maur.  The over-the-moon and shoot-for-the-stars kind of love."

 

Maura didn't pull away she didn't move or speak she just sat there.  Jane was beginning to panic, she was afraid to move or talk or even breathe because she knew Maura was processing. "You said you love me…..tha…that you're in love with me." She finally stated.

 

"Yes, yes I am."

 

Maura launched herself at Jane knocking her over on the bed and crashing their lips together.  Jane was caught off guard so it took her a few seconds to reciprocate the kiss.  Once Jane did, she deepened the kiss wrapping her arms around Maura pulling her in as close as two people could get.  When air became necessity they pulled apart, but only mere inches.  Panting to catch their breath Maura breathed out, "I'm in love with you too Jane and I'm glad for your ‘ah ha' revelation."

 

"Me too." Jane said with a huge smile on her face, "God you feel so good laying on me."

 

"It might feel even better if we weren't almost falling off the bed." Maura chuckled.

 

"I don't want to move Maura…you might disappear."

 

"I won't if you promise to kiss me again once we're on the bed properly."

 

"Deal." Jane smiled.  Her first real smile since everything started that morning.

 

Maura carefully got up pulling Jane with her.  Once they were laying back in bed and tucked under the covers Jane slid her arm around Maura's waist pulling her in close.  She slowly leaning over her best friend bringing her lips to Maura's in a soft and passionate kiss.  When they pulled apart Jane asked, "I think we need to sleep, but can I just hold you?"

 

"Please."

 

"Night Maur."

 

 "Goodnight Jane."

 

And with one more kiss, they drifted off to sleep.

 

_Sometimes the worst days can turn out to be the best ones, once all the dust settles..._

 

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback or suggestions would be great. I hope you enjoy this rizzles one-shot.


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